By Atty. Chi Padayao
Growing up gay may mean facing intense discrimination from loved ones, friends, the church, and the community. It started early for me.
One time, an uncle got furious when I played basketball with my friends (who were all boys). We were shooting hoops without any shirts on. It was a funny incident since we were all seven (7) years old then. “All of my friends didn’t have their shirts on also!” I told him stubbornly. “But, you’re a girl. Girls don’t go playing without their shirts on!” said my uncle exasperatedly.
By the time I reached college, my mind was muddled. I took refuge in Academic Freedom, dabbling in “isms” like existentialism, pragmatism, and atheism. The longer I did these, the more disconnected I felt. The family couldn’t even relate to me anymore. One time a family friend suggested that I join the town’s beauty contest. “Look at how she looks and how short her hair is. Any unfortunate butiki (lizard) will die if it lands on her spiked hair!” said a family member.
By my mid-thirties, this systematic rejection was bound to cause stress, depression, and anxiety. The soul was actually in hiding. The constant fear of rejection and other negative emotions clouded the being. Even though I worked as a lawyer, lived in my apartment, had an adorable dog, and appeared to know what I was doing. I was constantly overachieving to gain acceptance, overworking, and drowning in vice as temporary comfort. The mind also became very critical of others. Then, not surprisingly (yet terribly), spiritual emptiness crept in—the toxic air of negative energies that polluted my life finally caught up.
Until a friend brought me to the Basic Pranic Healing course.
At the PHFP in the Medical Plaza Building, I waited for the class by looking at the digests and books on esoteric teachings hanging on the nearby magazine rack. As I read the whiteboard, I realized it was a school that offered solutions for different needs: health, finances, relationships, and spirituality. It wasn’t an ordinary school, in any case.
In the courses, I got to know about the works of Grandmaster Choa Kok Sui, the founder. A great spiritual teacher, a scientist, and a philanthropist. His work was about the Spiritual Laws, regulating thoughts and emotions, and Virtues. He studied the breathtaking world of life force that gives life to everything. And harnessed for healing. It was about the Science of Energy. Not a religion because it studied the universality of the principles. But it was a synthesis of science and spirituality because he used his spiritual knowledge and esoteric research for practical purposes.
As healers, we learned to replace harmful energies (like fear of rejection, self-doubt, etc.) with positive ones. We were taught how to transform the negative energies within us (and our patients) into positive ones, i.e., generate extraordinary powers of love, compassion, and mercy. As one internally forgives, one receives forgiveness. Inner peace, love, joy, and abundance became an actionable journey. As Master Choa taught, “what happens to the world of energy tends to manifest physically.”
It was extraordinary, and I found it fascinating. As a bonus, the clouds of vices and negative emotions were removed safely. But, more importantly, the school helped me return to my true nature as a spiritual being that is loved, healed, and whole.
